“ How do we know when and what to look for to evolve ourselves, find deeper understanding, resolution and inner harmony?”
During my meditation i identified a part of myself that from a young age would try to find in another person a sense of security and stability. If i felt anxious or uncertain about anything i would look to my environment to find the sense of groundedness in another person to connect into that.
If the person that was with me did not have that energy available my response would be to draw away and separate myself from my environment. I noticed this pattern in play the other day, only now i am an adult but i still had this pattern running.
I now have a daughter and in my attempt to protect myself and find a sense of security i withdrew from my environment but with my daughter to create an Us and Them scenario. How many times do we see this occurring in our everyday interactions and how interesting is it to be able to penetrate deeply into ourselves to identify these patterns, how they operate and what is the root cause and development of this pattern.
We could investigate in a holistic approach what could be a contributor to the development of this pattern in ourselves looking deeply into psychological and behavioral development predominantly from 0-10 years old to find where we may have learned negative behaviors or misunderstanding that have grown to be habitual patterns within our living experience. We could investigate past life experiences if this is your cup of tea or examine any traumas or abuse in this life and also take into account the influence and very real presence of our inherited beliefs, disease, illness and patterning from our family generations. The wonderful thing is going on this path of discovery leads to a greater sense of peace, understanding, compassion, self love and a greater capacity to help ourselves and those we are in contact with. This would mainly be our
family, friends and community and this is very important. These understandings are a piece in the jigsaw of creating world peace and harmony. I strongly urge and hope to inspire you to begin to look deeply into everyday occurrences which trigger you and bring up feelings of uncomfortableness in you.
This is your flag point and indicator of which you need to stop and pay attention to the learning and lesson hidden within.
As i looked deeply into my experience i wanted to know more and like a child i kept asking myself…..but why?……but why? And to my great delight i received some answers. Why did i firstly look to another for security? Well, looking back into my childhood i recognised that after my dad left at 2years i now had one less parent to look to for stability and security. Although i
was well cared for with a roof over my head and food on the table the dynamics between myself and my mum were not consistent in my experience. My mum suffered from some depression from time to time and the fluctuation of what this entails contributed to a feeling of insecurity in me. My mum would do her best to connect with me but at times she would
be unable to provide a connection of stability and security for me.
Looking further back into my family tree the energy of dependence and patterning of a woman depending on a man and also the energy of insecurity was able to be seen in my parents and further back down the lines. Scientists have now proven that beliefs and patterns and trauma can be passed on and inherited from your predecessors.
So i can see with everyone’s best intentions and capabilities without investigating this information and working with it one would feel frustrated like you were fighting an unknown force.
I have recalled and looked further into three past life experiences where i have lived a life of trauma and pain and i have worked to resolve these grievances of these parts of myself to integrate all of these aspects harmoniously.(these stories are another tale to tell another day!)
So back to the experience. I looked closer and saw myself standing there feeling rejected and abandoned by the other person. The self i saw was a young child aspect of myself who was holding dearly onto her suffering, her story and needs. Being an only child until the age of 12years i had little context as to how you would have your needs met and suffering addressed without almost demanding they be heard and dealt with now. If i had grown
up with siblings i would have had the opportunity to see how possibly everyone could be heard and seen by their mum and dad without it being a self importance struggle.
I asked for some guidance as to how do i heal the part that is insecure. Firstly it was clear that i needed to understand and know that stability and security is already a part of myself and it is there for me to realise this.
Secondly i was presented with a wonderful image during the meditation which showed a great enlightened teacher Thich Nhat Hahn in front of a class. All the people in the class were all parts of myself all hanging on to their hurts and struggles and desperately wanting to be the one he chose to talk to first. This vision continued until it included friends and family in the class as well. As each person got to connect to him and talk about their hurts i became lighter in the struggle i was feeling. It then became clear that these struggles, insecurities and hurts are not only my own and in trying to remain self important with them (in the hope that i will be helped and relieved) was a learned behavior from my experience as an only child and it was not the way to resolve it. I discovered that as each person was helped and enlightened so was a part of myself showing me that we are not separate and that my pain is your pain, your hurt is my hurt.
In seeing this great epiphany i knew then that really the saying ‘treat others as you would like to be treated’ is very very important and alludes to the greater truth that we are all one connected living organism and in showing compassion, care and support for another by removing our self importance from our own struggles we help the other person and in doing so help ourselves. There is no separation.
I am continually discovering these understandings within myself and when working with my clients. IF you feel inspired to. Look deeply today and if you need some assistance lets make a time to chat and begin evolving:)
Peace and Blessings Storme
Perth Sound Therapy & Life Coaching
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